He Said, She Says – 07 April 2025

Many transgender people, especially those who transition later in life, like to glamorize their medical transitions as a way of finding peace and comfort that ushers in the best times of their lives. But Caragh Donley, playing herself in the solo show He Said, She Says is much more honest than that. Under the guise of talking to her former, masculine self (voiced by Salvatore Cacciato) about what has and hasn’t changed, Donley gives the audience a very real perspective that is raw and expressive. Donley’s insecurities take center stage as she confronts the fact that even though her body has changed, who she was is still a large part of how she sees herself— and sometimes it’s glorious, but sometimes it hurts.

This brief 60 minute adventure mirrors the brevity of Donley’s experience living as her authentic self, and is largely colored by the invasive questions others ask of her and how tired she is of her constant obligation to explain herself. For her, a large part of the battle of becoming herself physically was explaining herself to herself. Like many, she was at times struck with indecision about whether this change would be the one where she was seen as a woman, not a trans woman, and asked normal questions about her life, not philosophical ones about her existence. She relished in wearing a mask during COVID such that her hair and her dress were enough to pass as cis. The loss of that was difficult for her. It was a gift and a curse to see this production as part of the fringe festival when creative tech elements had to be forsaken due to time constraints. Beyond Nancy Wilson’s beautiful music, there were so many opportunities like a moment with a mask that could have created more dynamic and interesting scenes in a fully realized production.

At the conclusion of the show, Donley acknowledges that it’s a radical act to support trans people. If I could offer one possible, highly changeable note, Donley’s speech assumes that the entire audience is cisgender. She doesn’t come full circle and acknowledge that there are other transgender stories in the room who felt seen by being in the presence of a room full of supporters who chose to support a reality that does not belong to Donley alone, but also to a whole world full of people who are currently being erased and ignored. On the converse, we are grateful that shows like this are being produced. On behalf of myself and other trans people in the audience, we hope they will go further.

I attended this performance on a press pass from The Press Room.