My First Ex-Husband – 02 February 2025

The scenic design for My First Ex-Husband at first glance looked more or less like a staged reading. At first glance, it seemed ordinary. As the show went on, it felt less and less like a reading. I realized that Christopher Ash’s projections, as well as the color scheme of the space, made it feel like we were gathered in a church for a funeral. Each successive story contained a woman who loved a man (at least enough to commit to a life with him) and then went through the hard times of loving him. We, the audience, were in the pews listening to each story as a woman came forward to talk about a man she had to say goodbye to. Even though his existence in her life was over, she still had fond memories, bitterness, and a great story to tell that grounded her in who he was and what she wanted to do now that he was no longer here with her.

Enter into this format the supremely talented Joy Behar, Susie Essman, Tovah Feldshuh, and Adrienne C. Moore. Each woman brought a particular flair to the way they told these stories Joy Behar had compiled from interviewing women who had put a husband behind them. They each brought a kind of rebellious femininity, in addition to fully fleshed out characterizations that were at times sassy, impulsive, passionate, desperate, fun, forgiving, and frightened. They seldom glanced at the words in front of them, but having words there reinforced the feeling of preparing to give a very personal testimony and trying to write it all out in advance but then just getting up and speaking from the heart. In particular, Tovah Feldshuh’s portrayal of Rebecca in “Wigged Out” and Susie Essman’s portrayal of Serena in “Clothes Make the Man?” brought me joy. As a queer Jew, it was fun to see these stories told in retrospect; a lot of art and literature focuses on origin stories of being very religious and the process of discovering your identity. These stories focused on the consequences and what happens after the fact. They both managed to treat the communities that caused their characters challenges with enormous love and respect. The nuance brought a lot of joy and wisdom. Adrienne C. Moore’s portrayal of Laila in “Where Are You At” also brought a chilling nuance. Despite her anger, her pain felt very real to me. It was clear that there was more to the story than “he wouldn’t leave.” Moore’s subtext was heartachingly phenomenal.

Behar’s introduction stated that these were the stories of women because men had declined to give genuine answers or actually tell full length stories about divorce. She stated something along the lines of, “if you don’t feel represented here, it’s because you didn’t give me anything.” This funny introduction also evoked an interesting thematic idea—in order to have a successful marriage you have to give. You have to be willing to talk about uncomfortable topics. You have to be honest. The women Behar interviewed had one thing in common: no one to tell their stories to. They didn’t have good communication in their respective marriages, but they still wanted to communicate. To me, that was the seminal reason it is each character’s “first” ex-husband. They retained hope.

I attended this performance on a press pass from Candi Adams PR.